Pensees: Perception Management.

Perception Management.

Perception is not reality, but it doesn’t mean that perception is not a reality that we must acknowledge and live with. Perception is something that we attempt to manage even though we freely acknowledge that there are matters of perception that are totally out of our control. Some people are so sensitive and so judgmental that you will never be able to act or speak in such a way that does not invite their criticisms and suspicions. Those people are usually self-righteous or blinded by an over-confidence in their own powers of discernment. I say don’t be intimidated by them.

But, neither should we be cavalier and careless. It is still a fact of life that men look on the outward appearance. They perceive. There is perception. In fact, that is really the only way that they can possibly perceive you.

There is a godly cover-up of facts.

In Matthew 6, Jesus tells us that when we fast to wash our face, put on a smile, and hide the fact that we are fasting. We should not give the perception that we are fasting when, in fact, we really are. But even this proves my point: perception is not reality. While it may appear that the believer is not fasting, the reality is that he is.

This should counter balance the extreme reaction to hypocrisy that would cater to exhibitionism as a show of authenticity. I remember a young man that was on one of our ministry teams a number of years ago. He was very moody. When I asked him about this, he told me that he wouldn’t change. He would be who he was. Period. He couldn’t imagine being so hypocritical as smiling when he didn’t feel like it.

I told him that as a Christian who should be living for other, he should consider the negative effect that his moodiness had on others and, for the sake of others, conceal his dark mood with a disciplined commitment to smiling. Eisenhower had a rule of thumb that is applicable to all good leaders: always smile in front of the troops.

I don’t think this contradicts a commitment to authenticity. But I think that the mature believer is consciously aware of a much larger reality than the area of his experience that is gloomy. Therefore, he can be real without revealing another aspect of his real life. “Even in laughter the heart may sorrow” (Proverbs 14:13). This he may choose to do because he loves the people he is with and knows that they are not able or ready to see his own struggle. He may feel that his private depression will bring a shadow on his loved ones who are rejoicing in the Lord. Therefore, he “manages perception.” He will not show the gloomy side of himself. He may consciously decide to rejoice with those who are rejoicing. He is still authentic. “Rejoice with those who rejoice” (Romans 12:15).

D. Martyn-Lloyd Jones was depressed for a very long time during his busy and active ministry. Very few people actually knew it. It was his private battle. As leaders temptation, doubts, fears, interpersonal conflicts rage. Perhaps more than in the lives of others. Luther said that prayer, study, and temptation defined the minister. Oswald Sanders said that it is the lonely duty of every Christian to make sure he does not lose contact with God. So, in one sense, it is not ministerially prudent to bare it all before the people we serve.

But the management of perception is not ever to be self-serving. Creating an image or allowing a perception that exalts us as super-saints is to endorse a lie. But it is equally true that we could permanently damage our testimony with unbelievers if we refuse to acknowledge the stark reality that, though perception is not reality, perception still exists. We may decide that we don’t care how some perceive us because we know that they are not weaker brethren or unbelieving people, but are instead false teachers or pharisaical religionists.

Reputation is a matter of concern. But it is not everything. Spurgeon regularly said that he had to give his reputation to God, even discard it all together, for the sake of his ministry. This, of course, does not call for unwise, unthoughtful behavior without consideration to the consequences, but it should help us realize that a lost reputation among some people is, in fact, nothing lost at all. Jesus Himself was “of no reputation,” particularly among the religious elite. But His non-reputation served Him well as a Friend of Sinners.

I am a little bit concerned by people who turn Proverbs 22:1 into a command. While it is a general truth, a proverb, that a “good name is to be chosen rather than great riches,” it does not follow that the primary focus of their life must be to have a “good name.” Image is everything to these people. But Proverbs 22:1 is a proverb, not a command.

Yet, it is a proverb. Therefore, it seems wise to consider one’s words and actions in order to preserve one’s good name for the purpose of Christ’s ministry. In order to avoid blame, Paul the Apostle had select men travel with him and the gift for the Judean saints “providing honorable things, not only in the sight of God, but also in the sight of men” (2 Corinthians 8:21).

I think that there are two extremes to avoid in ministry. Some men are so wired that they are over cautious, never daring, always testing the waters and therefore locked into a safe and unhelpful manner of ministry.

Other men are wired to care less. Too daring. Too risky. Too ready to shock and a little bit cavalier about the whole thing. That too is unfruitful.

The one thing that I love about Charles Spurgeon is that he was daring. He laid his reputation out on the line all the time. Sometimes he crossed the line. Perhaps he regretted those times (although I’m not aware of any mea culpa from the prince of preachers). But there was no doubt that he was a man free of the trammels of sophisticated expectations.

The challenge, I suppose, is to present a managed image that faithfully represents reality, though possibly not all the reality. Perception is not reality, but perception is. And that’s a reality.