Pensees: Wolf, Goat, Cabbage

If the oarsman is a flaming fundamentalist, he will let them all in the boat and then watch them devour one another and then eat the one that is left.

If the oarsman is an evangelical, he will disregard the rules and handle the situation in as “loving” a manner as possible.

If the oarsman is a biblicist, he will take the goat over to the other side and leave him there. He will then return to the original side and get the wolf and the cabbage and take them both to the other side.

Your oarsman must be emergent. You’ve made up new rules. The boat only holds only one of the objects besides the oarsman.

We can’t really say what you are, so I guess I will just remain emergent. It caters to the most people!!

OK. Round two then would be this. The oarsman takes the goat over to the other side and leaves him there. He returns to the original side and gets the wolf and takes him to the other side. He then takes the goat back to the original side and leaves him there. He takes the cabbage back to the other side and leaves it there and then returns to the original side to get the goat!

How does that make you feel?? :-)

It makes me feel better. The ambiguity of the previous response was way to Gen-Xish, emergent, and frightfully indicative of a mood that shuns definition.

Congratulations. Looking forward to see you soon, Dave.

The oarsman can dangle the cabbage as he rows to lure the goat along, which will, in turn cause the wolf to follow the goat across.

Of course, in my own world, I would feed the cabbage to the goat, the goat to the wolf, and then row the wolf to the other side. Or even better…in another dimension…I might throw the cabbage into the lake and watch the show from the safety of the shore, while reading some French folk tales in honor of our host.

Of course…my previous answer presupposes only one trip across. If I could make a series of round trips, then it would be possible provided the cabbage is taken over one time, then the goat taken over and left while the cabbage is brought back. Then the wolf could be gotten while the cabbage is left, and the goat could be brought on the boat back while the wolf is left. Then the goat could be left while the cabbage was taken to be left with the wolf, and finally…one last round trip to bring the goat to the other side.

Clear as mud?

Clear as is to be expected from a guy that has both “neo” and “fundy” in his handle.

LOL Bob…what can I say?

Deets,

That was funny!

(We will of course not mention the fact that people from Farmington, New Mexico know almost as much as people from Phoenix, AZ on what a boat actually is! Of course you do have the Animas! - David, thanks for welcoming our refugees to your services on Sunday - They enjoyed being called “women’s libbers” by your boss!)

Thomas

That was also funny!

Bob,

I have really funny friends!

(This thread is not nearly as dangerous as other threads have been - you should have these funnier threads more often - this could change your whole public immage).

Back to the boat and the animals:

OK funny friends - stand back and watch the pro.

The dude in like the boat, (Thomas will appreciate this) he like smashes the boat (Deets - this is a Type A Fundamentalist tendency) - and makes like a surf board (Type B Fundamentalist tendency). He also takes the two oars and places the cabbage in front of the goat (who is also tied to the surf board). The second oar (a shorter one) is tied to the wolf (and placed just out of teeth range, behind the goat’s backside). So the wolf swims after the goat, the goat swims after the cabbage and dude -your like on this “Kewel” animal-powered surf board.

Narly?

Joel

Joel -

I guess the movie rendition of this would be, “Dude, where’s my boat?”. Oh wait, sorry, the film rendition. I would hate to offend some with the word movie.

Hey, next time you try to have a hostile take over of another church with the use of women, at least give us a heads up. I will say that they added some spunk to the service!!! We really enjoyed having the women here. It was great to see your wife and to know that she got away from you and the boys.

I think that it is great that we can use Bob’s blog to communicate like this. I knew Bob was good for something!!

Glad to be of service since you guys have totally lost me…

Joel, I know why God ordained that you should be such a horrible speller. If you could spell, your bizarre and militaristic imagination would have turned you into a best-selling novelist that blends the appeal of Stephen King and Tom Clancy into one!

Thanks for your friendship guys.

Keep Smilen!

Joel

PS - Bob - I think we had a group of 17 of our gals that went up to a camp in Colorado for a ladies retreat. My wife was one of them. On the way back, the stayed in Farmington, NM and attended church at Grace Baptist Church (Where our colleague here has served for years as the associate pastor). Don’t tell Dan or David here but we consider them to be our sister church in New Mexico. That has been my favorite church in New Mexico ever since Jim Welch pastored that church. I loved Jim (still do), and am very grateful for the good work Dan and David have done over the last many years.

At any rate - Apparently, When the ladies went to the service on Sunday morning they all sat together - Dan thought it was some women’s liber’s association that had invaded his church. I was thrilled for the gals to be at Grace - but now I’m already having to put up with, “Pastor…..I noticed Grace does this….and Grace does that…..Why don’t we (you) do this or that….”

Oh brother!

See if we send any more groups to Grace. Of Course now that the Associate Pastor will be off continent….. :)

Hey David, I need a few more of those keyring Grace pocket-knife deals. I’m on my last one. See if you can get the “Big Guy” to send a few more.

Later!

Joel

I will see what I can do about the knife thing. I hope you gave those away and didn’t actually lose all of the ones I sent you. Don’t worry about the whole, Grace does this and that, I always tell Pastor, Southeast does this and that too, so I guess we are even.

Bob

We always love you no matter what. The fact that we use you like this just solidifies our love for you!! The problem is out west here our communication systems are slow so we have to rely on the happening midwest guys to help us out with blogs and stuff.

This Sunday is our last one at Grace, we will miss being here. I still want to stop in and see you in January Joel. I have one date open for the Arizona area and I think it might have your name on it, I am not sure? I will e-mail you offline so Bob doesn’t get offended. I think we both know how he is when he is offended!!! :-) See you in a few weeks Bob.