Pensees: Where Did the Picture Go?

Where Did the Picture Go?

Frankly, I’m glad it’s gone. I didn’t really think it was the smartest thing — and for everybody’s information, I did not have anything to do with it. Some folks were offended on my behalf and I am certainly grateful for their love and respect. Some made appeals to SI and now, as far as I can tell, the picture is gone. Again, I think that is best. I think it’s best not because it was me that was the brunt of the joke. There are other concerns that were raised about the propriety of such a picture joke on a pastor. I’m not sure that I feel the same anxiety. Foreigner that I am, I’m not as sensitive to these things.

BUT, let me be clear, I was not offended either by Aniol’s comparison or SI’s picture. I give both Aniol and Linscott the benefit of the doubt. Neither had intentions that were demeaning. I took no offense. Enough folks apparently felt that it was inappropriate because of the peace symbols, the levity toward a pastor and what-not that it seemed best to the SI personnel to take it off. I concur even though I had nothing to do with that either. I’m so tired of over-sensitivity that I was actually content to be the brunt of the joke. I have wanted to start a Let’s-Not-Be-So-Touchy Campaign for a long time now.

The King James Version says, “Great peace have they which love Thy law, and nothing shall offend them” (Psalm 119:165). It is granted that there are different readings of this verse, but the essence of it remains the same: there is a certain stability of mind that accompanies well-placed affections. Those that are easily offended are those whose affections are mis-placed, more on themselves and less on God. When our self-worth is wrapped up in how people think of us we are destined to be touchy. Any slight, even innocent humor, makes us react defensively. We see it in young people all the time.

Just recently, I watched a young person in our church react defensively to good-natured jesting. I was a spectator. I was not the one doing the teasing. The young person reacted defensively and though everyone else in the group laughed, she was frowning, suddenly casting a cloud over the jocular mood. What that young person did not realize is that he was sending a very strong message to his pastor. She was saying, “My self-worth is wrapped up in how I am thought of by other people.” I felt sorry for him, not because she was being teased, but because he was the victim of his own mis-placed affections.

It is unfortunate when men get touchy, easily offended. Americans are way, way too touchy. Humor is almost a lost privilege anymore because somebody somewhere is going to take offense. This is due to the fact that there is too much self-consciousness and self-love. It is particularly sad when men in ministry are often the most touchy, their egos so over-sensitive that if they are not stroked with the fawning respect they feel is their due they will react like a pouting monarch. Everybody will walk on pins and needles around them until their ego has been sufficiently pampered.

This does not mean that respect is never due. Just this past Lord’s Day my levity from the pulpit toward another leader in our congregation crossed the line in my conscience. The Spirit of God would not let me rest until I had cleared my conscience with him and then I publically confessed it to the body that evening. To my coworker’s credit, he was not offended. He’s not touchy. He loves the Lord and he knows I love him and though he wondered if my levity was a little too free, his ego was not wounded. In fact, several in the congregation told me that they thought nothing of it, but they were also greatly appreciative of the fact that I was convicted of my transgression and cleared myself with our leader even though he himself was not agitated. We both sent a strong message to our beloved people: “Hold them in high esteem who labor among you for their work’s sake” and “Great peace have they which love They law: nothing shall offend them.” Both are significant messages.

When Dr. Bauder had his well-publicized faux-pas and subsequent public apology, there was a lot of discussion. I personally thought they he would very likely clear himself with an apology. I never thought that his choice of words was best. What disturbed me most, however, was the over-sensitivity and hyper-reactionism of the readers. I argued vehemently that the over-sensitivity of our culture is used to justify the clamming up of a good speaker. Unfortunately, though, readers often reflect their leaders. Any disagreement, any public jest, and any slight (even if not done maliciously) is considered an offense of irrepairable extent on the most precious persons in our world, our selves. Of course, our “testimony” is used as the excuse. We don’t want our testimony to be hurt, we say. Translated: we don’t want anyone to get a laugh at our expense or at the risk of being lowered a few notches from the great place of esteem wherein we have placed ourselves.

Therefore, I’m on a Let’s-NOt-Be-So-Touchy Campaign. Teach it to your teens and children. My Dad did me a great service when he taught me as a little boy to quit taking offense so easily, suck up the sobs, and start laughing with them as they laughed at me.

One time when I was just eight years old, two teen boys that I adored started teasing me by telling me that my epidermis was showing. I had no idea what my epidermis was and I was frantically checking myself all over to cover the horrifying exposure. They laughed mercilessly, pointing at me, and acting like I was being naughty or something. Interestingly, my dad was in his study hearing the whole thing through his window, getting angrier and angrier at the teens. But he stayed in control of his paternal protective-ism and later told me how upset he was. He told me how I could have responded. I could have said, “I don’t know what my epidermis is, but I’m glad it’s showing. I’m confident enough to know that whatever really needs to be covered is covered. Ha. Ha. You guys are funny. HEY, EVERYONE! MY EPIDERMIS IS SHOWING!!!!” Dad basically told me to be confident enough in who I was to join their laughing at me. He then taught me the word “epidermis.” I decided then and there to enjoy laughing at myself, being transparent about what I didn’t know, and to get a better-than-average vocabulary.

So, I’m not very touchy. And I wish more people would loosen up as well. I am not trying to sound super-spiritual. I’m just trying to tell you the facts: my sense of self-worth is not in any way connected to what you or anyone thinks of me. If I’m the brunt of the joke, who cares? I have been maliciously attacked enough to not take the least umbrage at innocent jesting, even if it crosses the line for what is appropriate.

I think the picture was funny. It made me laugh. I was tempted to doctor up a picture by putting Greg Linscott’s face on my body. That would have been the ultimate of insults to poor Greg. I am such a shriveled weakling that Cindy Sheehan could beat the living daylights out of. The problem is that if I were really trying to get Greg’s goat, I probably would fail. You see, it’s true: great peace have they which love God’s law and nothing will offend them.