Pensees: Confessions of Stupidly Typical (?) Young Man

Confessions of Stupidly Typical (?) Young Man

Spirituality and stupidity mingled. I was 17 when I wrote the following words. Just the day before I had penned a gut-wrenching, gonna-be-the-next-David-Brainerd entry. Then I flagrantly revealed my immaturity in the very next entry. Embarrassing, but maybe typical of 17 year old young men??????

The Journal

Well, it is funny how things don’t go as you planned. I came into school this morning and was planning on going to the church all afternoon to study, practise my horn, etc. until 6:30 when Lutta [editor’s note: a German girl I sort of liked] is supposed to come with her violin. The church keys are not in the box and so here I am at Bakers.

I wrote _____ [editor’s note: an American girl I liked whose identity I will protect although I have no clue where she is] a letter and added “love you” at the end. Really don’t know if I should have done it but I don’t want to rewrite a letter and it is quite fun. I hope she doesn’t take it too literally! I must watch my emotions because I think it’s possible to get wrapped up in someone you don’t love really. You just like the sensations.

“Je louerai l’Eternel” [editor’s note: “I will praise the Lord” then follows a long dissertation on heart praise as if ________ never existed. She, unfortunately “took it literally” although she’s not mentioned ever again in my journals. How stupid I was.]